Mark Twain Quotes About Life Love and Everything in Between
Last Updated: 17 Mar 2025
“A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”
“A friend is one who knows you and loves you j ust the same.”
“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.”
“A man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”
“A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.”
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, then success is sure.”
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
“Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”
“Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality.”
“Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”
“I am not one of those who believe that money is the root of all evil. The lack of money is the root of all evil.”
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
“I didn’t come in here to argue; I came in to act.”
“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”
“In the first place, God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.”
“It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others—and less trouble.”
“It liberates the vandal to travel—you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he had stuck in one place since he was born and thought God made the world and dyspepsia and bile for his especial comfort and satisfaction.”
“It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.”
“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”
“Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom.”
“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
“Loyalty to the nation all the time, loyalty to the government when it deserves it.”
“Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.”
“Man is the only animal that blushes—or needs to.”
“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done the day after tomorrow just as well.”
“Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink—under any circumstances.”
“No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.”
“Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.”
“Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.”
“Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.”
“Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”
“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.”
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
“The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.”
“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
“The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on your gains; it’s to avoid losing what you already have.”
“The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”
“The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.”
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”
“The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.”
“The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.”
“There are no people who are quite so insufferable as those who are always right.”
“There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.”
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
“There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.”
“There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible.”
“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”
“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”
“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”
“You may have the universe if I may have Italy.”